This confession...
Something that I've dreamed about all the time in my dreams,
something that i really want to do and share,
something that make me out of my mind.
Before this confession...
I think about thing that I shouldn't,
I act awkwardly to my own friends,
I can't even realize how far that I've been.
Oh well..
I asked my friend last night about something that I should have asked many many times before, i realize that i've been such a selfish person for my friends all the way. I asked him about everything, about my fault and my change in attitude. He agreed when I told him that I've gone wrong, he even said that he wants the "old" me back.
Then i start to think, don't even know for how many times. All I can do in my situation now is just think and think.
I said to him that I don't even know what's happening to me or what i feel right now. I knew that something doesnt go right, but what is it? I started to ask many kinds of question to him that made him a little confuse about it. Sometimes my lifes feel so empty and vapid, like I'm not the one who's playing the role. Some others are playing my role and I'm just the imposer.
In fact, I even started to avoid some of my best friends, for something that I don't even know what it is. His confuseness began to expand, he told me that I should go back to the person that he used to know. To someone that always lightened up our friendship.
Oh geez... what is wrong with me? That's all I can say. Something or someone have fucked up my mind and life's orientation.
http://twitter.com/ninisputri
